There are times in a relationship when you will be presented with a difficult dilemma. Should you tell the truth, risk hurting your partners feelings and potentially cause a fight? Or lie and cause trust issues down the road? New research shows that there is a right answer: telling truth.
A recent study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science queried more than 200 couples to assess the role of honesty in healthy relationships. It put the partners in a lab, face-to-face, and had them discuss a change they wanted to see in the other to examine the effects of expressing and perceiving honesty in the face of relationship-threatening information.
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The study found that honesty can help deepen connections and foster closeness, but it can also cause hurt. Although, in the long run, expressed and perceived honesty have several positive effects, according to Bonnie Le, one of the brains behind the study.
“We found that being more honest in expressing a desired change predicted greater personal and relationship wellbeing for both partners, as well as greater partner motivation to change in the moment,” Le said. “The same pattern emerged when the person receiving a request to change perceived honesty in their partner, regardless of whether their partner was being honest or not.”
The researchers discovered that even if partners don’t accurately perceive each other’s honesty, the simple act of being honest has a positive effect on the relationship in most cases. In other words, putting in the effort to be truthful matters more than the message being internalised.
“These results collectively suggest that being honest and seeing honesty in a partner can benefit relationships,” Le concluded. “Even when the truth may hurt.”
There is one caveat, however. The study assessed couple who were all in relatively healthy relationships to begin with. The existing health of a relationship might impact how honesty is perceived. Unhealthy couples may deliver a different consensus of results, which future studies may confirm.
How is honesty important in a relationship?
Like the study shows, honesty is crucial in maintaining a healthy relationship because it builds trust, allows for deeper intimacy and connection. Being honest also enables open communication so you can be authentic with your partner without fear of judgment lies.
Should you always be honest with your partner?
While being honest with your partner is crucial for a healthy relationship, we don’t think it’s always necessary to always be completely honest. There are some situations where little white lies can protect your partner’s feelings. No matter what, the key is to maintain open communication and transparency.
How does lack of honesty affect relationships?
A lack of honesty can be the death of a relationship, severely damaging the bond between partners, eroding trust and leading to increased a breakdown in communication.
