Standing sex is often depicted as effortlessly sexy. Think Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams’ unforgetting reunion scene in the rain, or Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s fight turned make out session that leads to sex against a wall. But in real life, standing sex can be a little trickier to pull off! Between finding the right height, maintaining balance, and actually enjoying the experience, there’s a lot to consider.
However, that doesn’t mean you should skip it—standing sex can be incredibly hot, intimate, and a great way to mix things up.
Here’s how to make standing sex work for you
Before you begin
Consider your environment, and what you might need to make standing sex work. Adding external support can help you feeling more comfortable and confident, taking standing sex from awkward to amazing. Here are a few things to keep in mind:
- Having something to lean on, or against, can provide support and give your muscles a much-needed break
- If attempting shower sex – be careful of slipping! A non-stick mat can help, as well as holding onto shower handles or a rail
- Gravity and friction are working against you here, so lubrication is a must. Keep a high-quality, body-safe lube on hand to reduce friction and keep things feeling great
15 nifty lubes for friction-free foreplay
Get the height right
One of the biggest challenges of standing sex is aligning your bodies in a way that feels natural and comfortable. If you and your partner have a significant height difference, this can be even trickier; I’m 5”3 and my partner is 6”3, so we’ve definitely had to make some accommodations! Here are some ways to adjust:
- Use sturdy furniture like a countertop, table, or a bed frame to create a height boost
- Have the shorter partner wear heels or stand on an elevated surface. One foot up on a small stool can make a huge difference
- Experimentation and exploration are key here. Try one or both partner kneeling, bending knees or angling the pelvis to find a position that works
- Communicate, communicate, communicate!
Find your balance
Standing sex definitely has the potential for mishaps and most of the time, they will be funny! But to avoid any more serious accidents, stability is key. To keep things smooth and steady:
- Lean against a wall for extra support and stability
- Hold onto something sturdy, like a dresser or a partner’s shoulders
- Consider the stability and safety of floor surfaces
- Engage your core muscles—this helps with stability and enhances sensation
The 12 best oral sex positions, per experts
Assume the position
Because standing positions don’t allow for deep thrusting as easily, adjusting angles and positions can make all the difference:
- Against the wall: One partner presses against the wall for support while the other enters from the front or behind
- From behind (bent over a surface): The receiving partner bends over a counter, bed, or even a couch armrest for stability and better alignment. Pro tip – over the bathroom counter allows for you to incorporate a mirror. What a view!
- One leg up: The receiving partner lifts a leg onto a surface (or around the partner’s waist) to improve access and leverage
- Explore hip and pelvic tilts: Find the most pleasurable angle that works for you; the penetrating partner can experiment with different slow, grinding movements rather than relying solely on in-and-out motion
And remember – sex is not just about intercourse. Get creative about what sex actually means. Hand and oral stimulation can add more sensation without relying purely on penetration.
Communication is key
Since standing sex can be a little awkward at first, talking through what works (and what doesn’t) makes the experience smoother and sexier:
- Check in with your partner about comfort and pleasure
- Use body language, moans, or whispers to guide each other
- Don’t be afraid to laugh if something feels off—it keeps the mood light and playful.
Unsplash
A case for standing sex
Standing sex can be an exhilarating change from the usual routine. Not every standing sex attempt will be seamless, and that’s okay. It’s about exploration and fun, not perfection; if something doesn’t work, laugh it off and adjust. The more comfortable and confident you feel, the better it will be.
With the right positioning, a little creativity, and some good humour, you can turn it into a thrilling experience that works for both of you. So next time the mood strikes, don’t be afraid to take things upright and enjoy the ride!
Laura is a psychologist and sexologist who is passionate about helping people to explore, enjoy and embrace their sexuality. She is a brand ambassador for That’s The Spot – Australia’s first and only dedicated pleasure gifting emporium.
