Anxiety can be a challenging, often invisible struggle that affects millions of people. It’s not just about feeling stressed or worried; it’s a state of unease that can be debilitating.
If you have a friend, family member, or work colleague dealing with anxiety, knowing how to approach them with understanding and sensitivity can make a significant difference in their life. Knowing what not to do is as crucial as knowing the right approach.
Here’s a guide on both the pitfalls to avoid, and the compassionate ways to connect with someone experiencing anxiety.
Don’t dismiss their anxiety
One of the most unhelpful things to do is to dismiss or belittle a person’s experience of anxiety. Phrases like “It’s all in your head” or “Just snap out of it” can invalidate their feelings and suggest that their anxiety is trivial or a figment of their imagination.
Instead, acknowledge their feelings without judgment and let them know you’re there to support them. Saying, “That sounds really tough” shows empathy and understanding and builds a helpful connection.
Unsplash: Hailey Reed
Don’t rush or pressure them
People with anxiety might need time to process information and make decisions. Pushing a person to respond quickly or make immediate decisions can heighten their stress and anxiety.
Showing patience and giving a person time to express themselves without feeling pressured can help a person to feel more at ease. A simple, “Take your time, no rush,” can be very helpful.
Don’t be impatient
Impatience can be easily sensed and can exacerbate anxiety. If someone with anxiety takes longer to respond or needs time to calm down, showing frustration or impatience can make them feel even more anxious and pressured.
Demonstrating patience and understanding can help create a more supportive environment. Let them know you’re there for them, no matter how long it takes.
Don’t use confrontational body language
Your body language speaks volumes. Standing too close, crossing your arms, or appearing aggressive can be intimidating and can increase an individual’s anxiety.
Instead maintain a calm presence. This might include maintaining a comfortable distance, open body language, and a calm demeanour to help the person feel more at ease.
Unsplash: Renee Thompson
Don’t offer simplistic solutions
Telling someone with anxiety to “just relax” or “think positive” is not only unhelpful but can also come across as dismissive. Anxiety is complex and often requires more than just a simple change in mindset.
Instead, offer a listening ear. Statements like “I’m here for you, how can I help?” is a much more supportive approach.
Don’t compare their experience
Avoid comparing their anxiety to others’ experiences or suggesting that others have it worse. Everyone’s experience with anxiety is unique, and comparisons can make an individual feel invalidated and misunderstood.
Focus on their specific experiences and needs. Statements such as “I want to understand what you’re going through” validates their feelings and helps a person feel heard.
Don’t overwhelm with information
When someone is anxious, providing too much information at once or bombarding someone with questions can be overwhelming. Keep your communication clear and concise. Taking things one step at a time can help to reduce the overwhelm.
Don’t take behaviour personally
It’s important not to take it personally if someone experiencing anxiety seems distant, irritable, or unresponsive. These behaviours can be manifestations of their anxiety rather than a reflection of their feelings towards you.
Understanding this can help you remain patient and supportive. An attitude of “I’m here for you, no matter what” shows compassion and support.
Don’t force eye contact
While eye contact is a common aspect of social interaction, forcing it can make someone with anxiety feel uncomfortable.
Respect their comfort level and allow them to engage in a way that feels safe for them.
Don’t interrupt or speak over them
Interrupting someone can make them feel undervalued and increase their anxiety.
Active listening, without interruptions, shows that you respect a person’s thoughts and feelings and helps them to feel safe.
Don’t assume you know what’s best
Every person’s experience with anxiety is different. Avoid assuming you know what they need or how they should handle their anxiety. Instead, ask “How can I help you right now?”. This empowers the person to communicate their needs. You might gently suggest seeking professional support if they haven’t already. Asking something like “Have you considered talking to a therapist?” can be helpful.
Approaching someone with anxiety requires sensitivity and understanding. By avoiding these common pitfalls and adopting a more empathetic approach, you can help create a supportive and comforting environment for those struggling with anxiety and help them navigate the anxiety with compassion and care.
