If the name Mary Fitzgerald Bonnet doesn’t ring a bell, the Netflix reality show Selling Sunset just might. Now in its seventh season (which dropped earlier this month), the show follows a number of agents trying to climb the ranks at well-known real estate agency the O Group, and is admittedly more drama than actually selling houses.
But amid all the petty feuds and friendship alliances, viewers where able to watch the moment veteran star Mary Bonne found out she and her husband Romain Bonnet were expecting their first child together. Episodes later, at a doctor’s appointment, Fitzgerald heartbreakingly learns that no heartbeat was detected during the ultrasound. Fitzgerald, who had been through miscarriages before, knew what that meant: She had lost the baby.
“I found out I was pregnant right after I got back from my long-awaited honeymoon in Bali with my husband, Romain, and I was so excited. I’d given birth to my only child, Austin, when I was 16 years old. Back then, I was a baby raising a baby. I was trying to figure out how to grow up while trying to raise a son. At 42, I was finally in the right place–financially and emotionally–and with the right person to have another baby. So, when I got pregnant, I just thought, ‘This was meant to be.’ I didn’t prepare myself for the possibility that something might go wrong,” she explains to Women’s Health. “Romain and I didn’t expect my nine-week ultrasound to go the way it did. I was almost in the clear. But I knew what was happening when I saw the technician’s face as she was taking measurements. She explained that there hadn’t really been any growth since the last appointment, and that she couldn’t find a heartbeat. She said she was going to get the doctor.”
Fitzgerald shared the news with her followers in a tearful video on Instagram in March. She clarified that she had a septic miscarriage, and required surgery. According to the Mayo Clinic, a septic miscarriage occurs when an infection develops in the uterus after miscarrying. Symptoms include fever, chills and lower abdominal tenderness.
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“I was just in shock. I feel like I talk so much in the office, and in interviews and confessionals for the show, but when something big is actually happening, I have to process first, and I don’t talk about whatever is going on until I know where my head is at. And after learning I had miscarried, there were so many thoughts and feelings–I didn’t know what to do. I cried in the doctor’s office, then sat like a Zombie for hours before I started crying again. It was just a whirlwind of emotions,” she explains. “A miscarriage feels like all your hopes and dreams for the future have been stripped away. You know there are possibilities of trying again, but in that moment, everything just feels horrible. Of course, Romain was so supportive, and that made a huge difference. My first miscarriage was the beginning of the end of my previous marriage, but this time was different. Romain has been the best partner I could ever hope for, and this experience has actually brought us closer.”
After learning the pregnancy wasn’t viable anymore, the doctor told her she had two options:
“I could schedule a dilation and curettage (D&C)–a surgery that uses a small instrument to remove tissue from the uterus–or I could wait for my body to expel the pregnancy tissue naturally. I opted to schedule a D&C, but the morning I was supposed to go in for the procedure, I naturally miscarried. The doctor asked if I wanted to come in to make sure all the tissue had cleared my body, but I said I was okay. I wanted to sit at home and grieve and curl up on the couch and cry,” says Fitzgerald.
But about a week later, while doing a season 6 cast photoshoot, she couldn’t stop shaking and had chills. By the end of the day, the crew had to send her home because she so sick.
“When my assistant came to check in on me, she said my eyes were rolling back in my head, and I was shaking, cold, and sweating. As it turned out, my body hadn’t expelled all of the fetal tissue, and I was experiencing a septic miscarriage, which happens when pregnancy tissue remains in the uterus and causes a uterine infection, and it’s very dangerous. I ended up having to get a D&C to remove the remaining tissue that was making me sick.”
After sharing that video, Mary got a huge number of messages from people saying that they’d gone through this in the past, or that they were going through a miscarriage right now, and that her story helped them.
“I signed up to share my life with the world; sometimes it’s fun, sometimes it’s brutal, but there’s a lot of good that can come from showing real experiences as they happen,” she explains.
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If you’re struggling during or after a miscarriage, getting professional help and seeing a psychiatrist or therapist can be helpful. The below organisations can also provide support:
Call Pregnancy, Birth and Baby on 1800 882 436, 7am to midnight (AET) to speak to a maternal child health nurse for advice and emotional support.
Red Nose Grief and Loss provides support for miscarriage, stillbirth and newborn death. Call their support line on 1300 308 307, available 24 hours a day.
Call Lifeline on 13 11 14, or speak confidentially with someone at Headspace by calling 1800 650 890
