‘I escaped homelessness and domestic violence, here’s my story’

I feel like I get more healing from just being honest and free

By Kim Lyons | Mar 6, 2025

‘I escaped homelessness and domestic violence, here’s my story’ — Pexels

Statistics show that 69 women were killed in instances of gendered violence last year alone. When it comes to violence against women, Australia is in a state of national crisis.

This is my story about domestic violence and homelessness. I hope my story inspires others to seek help or to keep going, or for others in a position to help to follow through. A disclaimer that this story speaks about confronting issues, so reader discretion is advised.

I have had some bad relationships with men. I had one from ages 16 to 21 and then from 22 to 26. That second relationship was extremely toxic. I was having kids through all this trauma, through this domestic violence. At one point, I was pregnant because of an assault, but I was the one who found myself in jail.

Separation from my children

My children were taken from me for about three weeks in the midst of this domestic violence situation. After several years of abuse, the courts diagnosed me, citing Section 32 of the Mental Health Act. It’s called Battered Women’s Syndrome. They pardoned me, because I was trying to get away from this violent person. After three weeks of being separated from my children, I sat on the docks’ steps from Sunday morning, waiting until they were due to come back to me that Monday.

Once I got my kids back, I swore I’d never lose them again and I cut everybody off. Only Min and Bernie, mentors who I’d met through a youth services organisation when I was younger, and my now-husband, were kept close. Min was relentless, even when I didn’t want to pick up the phone. “Are you okay?” she’d ask me. Bernie was also supportive – very cutthroat, outlining things like there’s only so much other people can do to help me. I needed that.

RELATED: ‘My experience with perinatal depression, and the call that saved my life’

They were angels. They helped me break the cycle of abuse and got me to where I am today.

It hurts me still though, because I had to cut off my best friend – I had to save me, I had to save my kids. Already, some of the situations I had put them in… I had to own that. They could no longer go through what I went through.

How are domestic violence and homelessness linked?

Domestic, family and sexual violence (DFSV) is a leading cause of youth homelessness in Australia. I first experienced homelessness as a child. I came home from school one day, and my mum was gone. She had moved to another state. I was only twelve. For the next year or two, on-and-off, I slept on my school’s steps. The principal found out and actually expelled me.

It was only when I’d been referred to Key College in Redfern, one of Youth Off The Streets’ independent high schools, that I met Min. Min is the mother I never had. She’s the light of my life, and I wouldn’t be who I am today if it wasn’t for her.

Over 90% of the young people who access the organisation’s Inner West Youth Homelessness Service (IWYHS) have been impacted by DFSV. Within the independent high schools, almost 60% of students require ongoing DFSV support.

Life after domestic violence

The person I’d been with had isolated me from everyone but now, I was able to get social media. I got a job. And I’ve since found a healthy relationship with my husband.

My husband is a blessing. He adopted my son, who had been conceived during my previous abusive relationship – he went through the whole pregnancy with me. He respects and understands my whole history. We had two more children together, but we don’t differentiate between the older and younger kids. He’s a dad to all of them.

We built our own house–for me, a full circle moment, because when I was pregnant with my daughters, now aged 19 and 23 –many of their first years were spent in a car because of domestic violence. Even when I was younger, I didn’t have a stable home. So to have my own house that no one can kick me out of is extremely meaningful.

Those same two daughters have now won major national awards in recognition of their efforts to raise awareness of sexual violence.

If I could say anything more, it would be that marriage and parenting is always a challenge for survivors of DFSV. It’s really important to acknowledge the connection between the past and present, as so many situations can trigger post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Having a good mindset of self-awareness, I think, has been my key to navigating each new chapter.

I’m sharing my story because I feel like I get more healing from just being honest and being free. The next phase of my life is about to start. I hope my story helps even just one person.

What is domestic, family and sexual violence?

The Australian Institute of Health and Welfare defines domestic, family and sexual violence (DFSV) as all forms of violence that occur in the context of family and intimate partner relationships, and sexual violence in any context. Child abuse and neglect includes any direct and indirect experiences of violence or neglect among young people aged under 18 years by a person in a position of responsibility, trust or power over the child or young person.

Youth Off The Streets is a not-for-profit youth services organisation that supports 12–24-year-olds experiencing or at risk of homelessness and complex disadvantage. Learn more about their crisis accommodation and housing services, accredited alternative high schools and other services at youthoffthestreets.com.au