Over the last two years, “survival mode” has been a constant state of being for Jesinta Franklin. But now, with a refreshed approach to her health and wellbeing, the Sydney-based model, businesswoman and Swisse ambassador has “come right”. Here, she chats candidly about postnatal depletion, dealing with mum guilt and why five-minute workouts are her jam.
The last time we chatted with you was for a Women’s Health cover story back in 2019 and – the team didn’t know at the time – you were in the early stages of pregnancy with your daughter, Tallulah, now two.
Jesinta: Yes, I was! I remember being on set and being very… not self-conscious but I’d been through a lot. I’d been through IVF at the time, injecting myself with all of these hormones, I’d had my egg retrieval and then the transfers. I was just not feeling my best in my body and no one knew. I felt like I was living two very different lives.
That would’ve been so hard.
Jesinta: The hardest thing throughout that whole period is that I would always get asked when we were going to have a baby or if I wanted to have a baby [with husband, AFL player Lance “Buddy” Franklin]. At that time, I didn’t want to talk about it, just because I was living [through] the fertility treatments, and the ups and downs of falling pregnant and then it not working out. I was going to the IVF clinic most mornings and getting blood work done or ultrasounds, and my arms were covered in bruises, so were my legs and my stomach.
Since then, you’ve been really open about your IVF experience. It’s so helpful for others in a similar position who might feel alone.
Jesinta: Absolutely. That’s one of the reasons why once we had fallen pregnant, I wanted to make it public that it wasn’t easy. Because as someone who had experienced infertility, it was always so hard seeing pregnancy announcements. It didn’t mean that I wasn’t happy for that couple. It was more that there was never any talk around how they got to that point. I think the assumption just is, you decide to have a baby and then you fall pregnant. For some people, it is, but for a lot of people, it’s not the case. I really wanted to express that so other people didn’t feel as alone.
Another thing you’re open about is experiencing postnatal depletion, especially as you had two children in the space of a year. What was that like for you?
Jesinta: Our bodies go through so much, right? I had gone through – three years prior to having my daughter – miscarriages and then IVF and then finally fell pregnant with her, and then when I had her, we went into lockdown. Then, when she was five months old, [I found out] that I was eight weeks pregnant [with son Rocky] and then going through another pregnancy… And then when Rocky was 12 weeks old, we went into another lockdown, and my husband went away again.
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I felt like there were so many things that compounded in those two years that weren’t just me having two children within the space of 12 months, but it was lockdowns, and not being able to see my family, not being able to have the support, living in AFL hubs, having a husband that was on the road constantly, and having to live under all these strict guidelines in order for him to continue to play football. I probably felt mentally and emotionally depleted more than anything else. It’s probably taken me till about now to come right.
What were you doing at the time to try help you through?
Jesinta: In all honesty – and I think this is why I ended up so depleted – I really didn’t do much. I had a postpartum doula for the first six weeks [with Tallulah] before lockdown happened. That was really amazing with all the nourishing foods and having that added support there. But once we went into that second lockdown, there really wasn’t much. I was in total survival mode.
If I had my time over – I probably couldn’t have done anything differently because it was just the situation – but I think surrendering to the fact that it’s OK that you can’t do it all [would have helped]. It’s OK that you’re going to have days when brushing your teeth and having a shower are going to be your biggest accomplishments. Just surrendering to the fact that it’s going to be chaotic, it’s going to be messy, the house isn’t going to be tidy.
Aje Athletica jacket, $295, sports bra, $115, and leggings, $145; New Balance 2002R sneakers
You said that it’s only now that you’ve started to feel right. What has gotten you to this point?
Jesinta: I put a lot of support around me when we came out of lockdown. We have an amazing nanny four days a week, and it’s taken me until this point, even with our nanny coming on board in January, for me to leave the house more than a couple of hours unless it was for work. I always felt so guilty every time I left – even if it was to do the grocery shopping. Now I’ve surrendered to the fact that it’s OK for me to go out and see a friend or go for a walk and do something that’s not related to life admin or running the household.
It was recognising the fact that I needed help. Whether that’s getting your in-laws to help – I can’t do that because my parents are in Queensland and [Buddy’s] are in WA – or whether it’s day care or asking someone to come around. Whatever help or support looks like to you, it’s really important to put that support network around you.
I always felt so guilty about saying I had help or saying that I needed to have help. I don’t know if it was because it made me feel like I wasn’t capable, or that I looked like I couldn’t do it. You’ve got to let that bullshit go. You know what I mean?
Yeah, absolutely.
Jesinta: It’s such bullshit, right? You literally cannot be at home 24/7 with your children, cook every single meal, do all the cleaning, and have a career. You can have those things, but you can’t have them all at once. I couldn’t expect to try to get back to work and continue building my business, but also be at home 24/7 with my children with no support. That would mean that I would be putting them down at six o’clock and then I would be working till midnight. Then, there’s all this washing to do…
There’s physically not enough hours in the day to do and be absolutely everything to everyone around you. It’s hard because I like to be in control. I like to do things by myself. I like to feel capable. I’ve just had to try let go of all of that.
Photography: Steven Chee. Styling: Charlotte Stokes. Hair: Graeme Cumming. Make-up: Noni Smith. Location: Fitness Playground Marrickville.
Read the full interview with Jesinta Franklin in the September issue of Women’s Health Australia. Subscribe so that you never miss an issue.
