Nara Smith, the 23 year old model and influencer has gained a huge following since 2023 – 9.8 million to be exact – for her viral cooking videos and candid family content. Her posts often feature her husband Lucky Blue-Smith, another model, who she married at age 19. What people may not know is that behind the beautiful photos and impressive cooking mastery, Nara suffers from dermatitis, or eczema.
I started following Nara sometime in 2023, and was happy to see a mixed-race content creator rising to TikTok fame. While I loved watching cooking videos where Nara made bubblegum from scratch, and prepared freshly made mozzarella in Chanel, my favourite videos of hers are when she talks about her skin condition. Why? Because I, too, suffer from the same skin condition.
What is eczema?
Dermatitis, also known as eczema, is a common skin condition which makes your skin red, dry and irritated. It’s frequently seen in babies, and it often goes away after childhood. However, in some cases eczema can stay into adulthood and become a severe chronic condition.
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Living with eczema
I was diagnosed with eczema, the same skin condition when I was just two months old, and after 22 years I have struggled in many ways similar to Nara. The influencer has spoken candidly about her struggle with eczema and lupus. These inflammatory disease’s ultimately are what drove her to start her ‘make it at home’ diet. Nara explains that her eczema has spread to her scalp forcing her to keep her hair straight, rather than her natural curls which would need too much product and maintenance. Dryness on the scalp is common for people with eczema.
As I watched her husband, Lucky, blow dry Nara’s hair, it reminded me of my own relationships, and all of the things you need to do and be prepared to give up when you’re in a relationship with someone that has eczema. Depending on how severe their condition is you may have to make one or two of these changes. With my chronic eczema, all of this is non-negotiable
So here’s what you may need to do differently if you’re dating someone with the condition.
9 things to adjust if your’e dating someone who has eczema
1. Say bye-bye to perfume
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Sadly, perfume is the first thing you will need to let go of. You know those sweet vanilla undertones, a hint of raspberry, the subtle floral bouquet of lavender? Sob. It’s not gonna happen.
With contact dermatitis and atopic dermatitis, perfume is one of the biggest aggravators. Meaning, if you have this skin condition you and your partner will likely have to say cheerio to perfume.
2. Fancy detergents and fuzzy wool are a no-go
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The average person is likely blissfully unaware about how many of their daily products contain perfume, and detergent is a prime example. When a detergent comes with perfume, your clothes appreciate you for it, but if your skin is dry and sensitive you are choosing to wrap yourself in an allergen that you will have direct contact with all day, almost guaranteeing a reaction.
This makes laundry as a whole incredibly difficult. To put it into perspective, I once spent 2 hours walking around Sydney with a 22kg suitcase, looking for a laundromat that didn’t have detergent pre-loaded into the machine. Even one round of perfumed detergent on my clothes would have ruined my skin for weeks.
Another clothes consideration with eczema is fabric. During a flare-up someone with eczema has to be incredibly careful what materials they wear, and this will be true for their partner, too. Wearing something your partner is reactive to can turn a hug or a shoulder lean into an incredibly painful experience fairly quickly.
3. Sleep might become a little less peaceful
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Eczema tends to be particularly irritating at night. While sleep brings your body temperature down, which naturally soothes irritated skin, lying down gives someone with eczema the perfect access to all their favourite scratch spots.
So if you have a partner with eczema, you may have to sit with them at 3am as they keep you awake with the sound of tearing skin. Recommendation? Hold their hands and try to calm them down. If I am having an ‘eczema attack’ as I call it, I can only be stopped if someone takes away my hands. My reaction to this is usually, a full body shaking exorcism of “let go of me!!!”, but it does usually help.
4. Get ready for occasional hospital visits
Eczema is a serious condition for some. For me, it makes your skin and body more susceptible to infection. Imagine this; normal skin is akin to a piece of clingfilm — it’s good at keeping the bad things out. Eczema is akin to having clingfilm skin with lots of holes in it. It can’t act as the first line of defence efficiently, meaning the skin is too weak, torn and damaged.
It’s October 2024 as I write this and this year alone I’ve visited the hospital six or seven times. The severity of my eczema also means I also have a compromised immune system. The largest organ on my body is incapable of keeping anything out, meaning I get skin infections easily.
5. You might need to modify your diet
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Most doctors advise that a person with eczema should be very careful with their diet. The focus, is to avoid inflammatory foods and instead focus on a diet that will help your skin heal.
Additives and preservatives can be especially aggravating for sensitive skin. Products like dairy, nightshades, gluten and excess sugar are a recipe for disaster. By making food from scratch and controlling what goes into her food, Nara is helping her skin heal. Clearly though, it’s all about the time and finances you have at hand, so just do what you can to eat a clean diet where possible.
6. Never ask them to do the dishes
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Like I said, eczema makes ones skin like clingfilm — with tiny little tears in it. Now imagine filling those holes with dish soap, bleach, or antibacterial spray. Ouch. It feels the same as getting lemon in a cut!
People with eczema often have trouble cleaning as it allows harmful and corrosive products directly onto the skin. This may be the reason Nara cooks and Lucky cleans — a match made in eczema heaven!
7. Time for a clean space
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A doctor in Sydney once told me about the 2 major causes of eczema. The first is genetic: eczema is often passed through a parent. My mother passed it on to me and has had a similar journey with it. My sister however skipped the gene, and has skin so smooth that it glistens with all the extra moisture.
The second cause for eczema is your environment. This includes dirt, dust or even the humidity where you live. After this conversation, for the next 6 months I cleaned my space everyday, washed my sheets frequently, only wore a piece of clothing once before it went to the laundry basket, and used a fresh towel daily. Time-wise and money-wise it can be exhausting, so, again, just do what you can here.
8. Patience: simple things may prove a little more difficult
There are some tasks that most people do mindlessly, tasks that when you have eczema are in reality very challenging.
I just came back from a 7 week backpacking trip, and many of the transportation methods, day trips, and beaches were completely unavailable to me. I can’t be in the sun for long, my own sweat is like acid on my skin and I have to be constantly moisturised. After swimming, I follow a rigorous moisturising routine and 10 minutes sitting alone while my skin attempts to soak up the moisture. I also can’t swim unless there’s a shower nearby and sometimes my skin is too cracked to swim at all. Many nice moments, even beautiful moments of my life have been accompanied by immense pain.
Eczema is a difficult thing to treat, impossible to cure and needs to be managed. On an ongoing basis it’s a condition dermatologists have trouble understanding, especially on darker skin. Specialists have mostly been trained to diagnose skin diseases/infections on pale skin, and eczema can look completely different on brown and black skin, making the skin look more grey and cracked as opposed to red and inflamed.
9. Compliments go a long way!
This cute picture of Lucky is emblematic of their relationship and the kind of confidence boosts you may need to give someone who suffers from this condition.
While I have tried over my life to curate a high self-esteem, eczema makes it hard.
The skin on my face often peels and turns red. My arms and legs are almost always grey and cracked, and sometimes a rash can make me look like an entirely different person. In these moments it is very difficult to feel beautiful, or even worthy. The pain coupled with the visual changes makes eczema a mental game too, not to mention the stress and anxiety compounding it all. In these moments, it is important to have people around you who support you and let you know that even in your dry, flaky state, you are still loveable.
Finding a solution
The problem with skin is that you wear it all the time, even if it is painful, burning and torn, you have no choice but to feel it. With more people talking about eczema I can only hope that those conversations can help raise awareness and solutions for what can be a fairly debilitating skin condition. Sometimes, sadly, steroid creams alone don’t cut it.
With the mass following that influencers like Nara Smith have, it is a positive to see what skin conditions like eczema are getting the spotlight and discourse that is so very welcome and needed. Here’s to the positive, powerful side of social media and making issues that can sometimes be sidelined, front and centre.
@naraaziza
