As athletes, downtime isn’t our greatest strength, and we can sometimes have the mindset that resting is lazy. I’ve had to tell myself that not being productive is okay which has been really hard because when I’m at home there’s always washing that needs to be done or a car to clean. Finding downtime is hard but you need to find it to stay fresh.
I’m better at reaching that balance now that I’m older. Every now and then I need to be reminded by my wife, Jess, but I’m good on tour, very aware of my own red flags and what I need to stay feeling fresh.
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When you have a partner, or even just an extremely close friend that you miss, you find time for them and then that forces you to have some down time yourself. Being in a relationship puts things into perspective and you create more time than what you would if you were by yourself.
Adding a child to that, like Jess and I did, changes that exponentially and probably has affected some areas of my cricket. At times I don’t do the little one-percenters when it comes to recovery because I need to get home for dinner.
The greatest struggle the ‘mum guilt’ that comes with Rylee needing me as her mum and knowing I miss a lot; I’m not there all the time and I change the routines when I leave. Because we’re away so much I do feel guilty about this which is hard because that’s something I can’t control. But knowing it’s not forever helps.
When I need some time for myself it is important to be honest with myself and Jess but that’s hard and another thing I find challenging.
Sometimes I say to Jess: “Look, we need some downtime, and we’ll do that together” rather than just by taking time by myself because I would rather do that anyway. So being open and honest is crucial.
There’s a few mini bucket-fillers I go to if I’m a bit down or flat. Laughing is important and can look different at times but finding something fun to do or little things that are more light-hearted is what I’ll look to do first.
I try to FaceTime home as much as possible to feel like I’m still a part of decisions, appointments and to make sure I don’t feel like I’ve lost the time I’ve been away. It means I know when Rylee’s appointments are and things like that, that’s crucial to me, feeling like I’m still a parent.
I really enjoy crosswords and things like that, things that keep my brain working. I’m not usually one to sit there and watch a movie, but if I’m really flagging, I know I haven’t given my brain the chance to switch off, so I’ll put on a Marvel movie.
When it comes to balance, I’d say prioritise big moments. I’ve missed a lot of moments. I’ve missed weddings, missed both my grandparents’ funerals, and I regret that.
I’d also say don’t be so obsessed with training that it takes priority over the important people in your life. It’s hard to have that mindset when you’re younger and you want to get better and be in the team. I totally get that. But after everything I’ve been through, I’ve realised cricket can take a back seat at times and that’s okay.
