As much as popular media may have us believe, menopause does not need to be the death of your sex life. With understanding, awareness and a choice to prioritise self-care and pleasure, you can have mind-blowing and satisfying solo and partnered sex well into your 60s, 70s and beyond.
A recent survey of 1,500 women aged 40-65 conducted by Womanizer in partnership with the Kinsey Institute sought to understand more about menopause, its impact on sex and pleasure, and useful remedies to combat menopause symptoms. The results found that masturbation and sex were rated among the most effective methods for menopause symptom management, despite only 44% of women having discussed menopause with a healthcare professional. Not surprisingly, the survey overall found there is a lack of communication, awareness and proactive healthcare advice relating to the management of menopause symptoms.
How can masturbation help menopause symptoms?
Self-pleasure at any stage of life is a wonderful form of self-care, self-prioritization and stress relief, and is associated with better mental health, sleep and sexual satisfaction. From a hormonal perspective, masturbation and pleasurable partnered sex promote the release of endorphins, oxytocin, serotonin and dopamine. These are known as our ‘happy hormones’ as they support feelings of satisfaction and wellbeing, and act as a natural painkiller. Because of this, these hormones are particularly helpful during menopause to alleviate symptoms thahttps://womenshealth.com.au/brain-fog-during-menopause-is-a-reality-we-need-to-talk-about/t can include headaches, anxiety, depression and sleep disturbances, to name a few.
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These new findings add to the 2021 survey by Womanizer and Lunette that found regular masturbation reduced menstrual symptoms such as abdominal pain and cramping, bloating, breast tenderness, and supported increased energy during the menstrual cycle. The message is clear; pleasure from masturbation and/or sexual experiences can support reproductive health symptoms for those with a uterus at various life stages; from menstruation to menopause!
Making masturbation work for you during menopause: a sex therapist’s top tips
If you’re wanting to explore self-pleasure for the first or 34,925th time, I encourage you to consider the following:
Remove orgasm as the goal of self-pleasure
It is not uncommon during hormonal and life stage changes, and particularly during menopause, for orgasmicity and frequency to change. You can always reap the hormonal benefits of masturbation with a focus on pleasure, regardless of whether you orgasm or not! Removing orgasm pressure means you can focus more on the pleasure in-moment (releasing the hormones that reduce menopause symptoms), and focus on learning something new/different about your pleasure. Variety and building new pathways to pleasure is known to support increased pleasure and satisfaction in solo and partnered sexual activities. Putting pressure on having an orgasm (whether solo or with a partner) usually has the opposite effect, and can make orgasms even more elusive!
Focus on non-penetrative pleasure
It is well established in pleasure research that the majority of people with vulva’s at any age experience most of their pleasure through external clitoral rather than penetrative stimulation. In fact, less than 20% find they can reliably orgasm through penetrative stimulation alone. During menopause, you may also find increased dryness, thinning and possibly inflammation of the vaginal walls which can happen due to the changes in estrogen in your body at this time. If this is the case for you, external stimulation may feel more comfortable and enjoyable.
Use lubricant
I recommend lubricant for everyone, regardless of age or stage, but this can become especially relevant during perimenopause and menopause due to the changes to vaginal tissue mentioned above.
Explore arousal-building sensory items or resources
Use oils, scents, lingerie and erotic fiction (written, audio and visual are all great depending on what is the most arousing for you) to support your desire, arousal and sensual confidence. Sexual pleasure is not just genital and not just touch, so explore your whole body and all the senses!
Experiment with different types of touch, pressure and rhythms
Acknowledge that your pleasure needs are constantly evolving, and particularly so during life stage changes. Learn new pathways to pleasure through experimentation.
Incorporate toys
Toys that provide external clitoral stimulation (for the reasons mentioned above). The Womanizer Liberty 2 has a great shape and different intensity levels so you can choose the level of stimulation that best suits you.
Communicate with partner(s)
Talk to your partner about your pleasure and what you want and need sexually. Communicating about your needs is easier if you have learnt about your pleasure, particularly through solo touch. Ongoing research has found that those who masturbate are more easily able to access pleasure, and feel more confident and satisfied in their partnered sexual experiences.
A glass half-full approach
Despite the systemic underfunding of women’s health research worldwide, initiatives such as the Womanizer Pleasure Fund (that funded the recent survey) provide valuable information to support in symptom management for reproductive health issues that include menopause. If you believe that you are experiencing symptoms aligned with perimenopause or menopause, I encourage you to speak to a women’s health specialist. There are some known strategies for menopause symptom management that include lifestyle (e.g. nutritional considerations and exercise recommendations), behavioural (e.g. masturbation, sleep hygiene and mental health support) and/or hormonal support. While menopause is inevitable for anyone with a uterus, it does not have to be the end of your sex life!
Christine Rafe is Womanizer’s in-house sex and relationship expert.
